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Vibrant possessor of hope in a contagious world

In Romania, last month, a 59-year-old engineer came from South Africa and was diagnosed with the new SARS-CoV-2 Omicron. The entire media began to shout and debate. His neighbors are worried that they could become infected with this new strain, especially after they were told that this new mutation of the virus is more contagious. The Romanian man is not allowed by his neighbors to open his window, although he lives upstairs, in a flat. Even the policemen are terrified and when they check on him, the officers are asking him to appear at the window, but without opening it.

It’s hard, it’s confusing, it’s painful, and clearly we are all waiting to see what the future looks like. But it is much more painful to see so many citizens who are alone and ostracized, and to see so much hate between people (even old friends) vaccinated or not vaccinated.

Even though this is not a pleasant view, please allow me to say that it is normal. It is normal to be overwhelmed by solitude, fear, and confusion when there is no hope. It is a normal effect to be hopeless when there is no personal evidence of the “source of hope”. We are all waiting in this dark confusion and expectation that tomorrow will be better, only to realize that for some tomorrow will never come.

Above all that the media and the church pulpit ”profess”, what can we do as possessor of hope? In His honest message, the Lord Jesus told us that in this world we will face trouble (John 16:33). We, His followers, know this, and it shouldn’t surprise us. This would not be a triumphant message except for the fact that Jesus continued by saying: “but take heart! I have overcome the world.
I’ve seen many Christians who lost their hearts: overwhelmed by negative news, social media posts, government regulations and have been caught in useless debates. As Christian, I wonder myself: what should be our attitude? How can our church be a provider of hope?

The Church needs to lift its eyes and realize that we are the possessor of hope. With its passion for Jesus, the church is called to engage in the hopeless world, to open the windows and doors and bring the Good News to its neighbors. The world needs our Good News, right now, and the Church has it because the Church does not lose its heart when trouble comes. We have the promise of our God, which today sounds so real and relevant: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified…, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut. 31:6) May this statement be a reality for His Church today, as we enter the new year 2022, and a light for those who need an open window to hear the Good News of Hope.

 

Rafael Năstase is a missionary who served with his wife Alice, seven years in Republic of Moldova, being involved with Operation Mobilisation (OM) in church planting, discipleship and mobilizing churches for missions. Now he coordinates the church relation department of OM in Romania and is the national member care facilitator. Rafael is also a board member of Member Care Europe.

How bridges relate to Member Care

During the difficult lockdown days that many countries (especially in Europe) continued to endure this spring, my organization required us to take at least a half-day retreat somewhere in our city, find a bridge and reflect on its significance.

As I found my bridge in a beautiful park in my city of Genova, Italy, I made the following observations about bridges:

  • Bridges are often used to cross or overcome an obstacle
  • Are often the fastest means to get from point A to point B
  • To cross a bridge can often be scary (water, fear of heights, high winds, instability, etc.)
  • Crossing a bridge also involves trust, not only in the engineering, but also in the foundation
  • Bridges require maintenance and attention
  • Bridges can be diverse and innovative
  • And finally, bridges add perspective, allowing one to see things from a different point of view

So how do bridges relate to Member Care?

In the past year, I have debriefed numerous people working in dynamic and often volatile teams of both married and single people. The thing that everyone had in common was that first of all, they all have struggled in some way or another during the Covid-19 pandemic, and second, all felt that others on the team have failed to understand or acknowledge their life situations.

Some who are single talked about feelings of loneliness and isolation during the pandemic and frustration that their organizations and teams didn’t offer more support during difficult lockdown days. In contrast, other singles felt that because they are used to managing on their own, they were better equipped not only to deal with government restrictions and quarantine, but also available to offer support and care to those who needed it the most during lockdown. But what the singles DID have in common was that all felt that their married colleagues need to learn more about how to be sensitive to the needs and struggles of singles.

One young single woman (permission granted to share her story) serving in a closed-access country offered an interesting example of the conflict and misunderstandings that can occur between single and married colleagues. During a mandatory hostage training course that her team participated in, her team went through a simulation in which kidnappers asked for a person to be offered as ransom. This particular woman was both hurt and shocked that her team said she should offer herself up as ransom in order to save the other members of the team because she is not married and doesn’t have to look out for a family. Moreover, she was shamed into thinking she was selfish for not offering herself voluntarily. Clearly her team had a lot to unpack, debrief, and reconcile.

Other single inter-cultural workers have often talked about how their married counterparts often ask them to babysit because “obviously being single means you have more time on your hand,” or “don’t lose heart, God is your husband,” to which a close friend of mine says, “No, God is not my husband, He is my Lord and Saviour!” And finally, singles often hear not only from teammates, but also supporters and churches, “we are praying for you to find a spouse,” to which singles might say, “that’s funny, I never asked for you to pray about that.”

But what about teammates who are married? Many married people have shared that this past year added a whole new level of stress on their marriage. Why? Because they were forced to spend 24 hours a day together with no break. I have heard one married person say, “Although I love my wife, I envy those who are single during Covid who at least get some time to themselves.” Cases of domestic abuse have also been on the rise during the pandemic due to added stress and married people feeling that they are living on top of each other at times.

I have also heard married people express that single people often fail to recognize the individuality and/or unique personality of each spouse. Simply put, Sarah and Abraham, while a unit, are clearly also two different people and personalities.

Interestingly, I have heard singles and married people both complain about a particular rule married people may have, albeit from different perspectives.  Many of us know of married couples who have a rule not to ever be in a room together alone with someone of the opposite sex.  I have heard married cross-cultural workers complain about their single teammates who they feel have not respected or perhaps have interfered in this rule.  However, I have heard singles address this same rule by saying, “married teammates who have this rule need to understand how such a rule inadvertently affects single people.”

Perspective!

Finally, I personally have seen both sides of the bridge, so to speak, because both my wife and I spent half of our adult cross-cultural life as both single and married.  We both have heard teammates and other Christian workers say to us AFTER we got married, “you have finally arrived” or “your spouse really completes you.”  It makes one think, geesh, what did they really think of me when I was single?  And no, it is not correct to say “My better-half, or my husband or wife completes me.” We need to all think about what our words mean and their impact, and even more so, their theological ramifications. No, our spouses don’t complete us (though they certainly can and should complement us); we are ALL COMPLETE in Christ.

What is needed and what is the Member Care lesson? Build a bridge, cross the bridge, and look at life, experiences, and the view from the other side. Building and crossing that bridge involves trust, innovation, creativity but offers our teams stability, perspective and efficiency. Both married and single teammates suffer from loneliness, being misunderstood, and feeling frustrated. But if they are willing to build a bridge and work together, beautiful things can be done collectively for the Kingdom!

*Recommended Reading:

  1. Redeeming Singleness: How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life by Barry Danylak
  2. Single Mission by Debbie Hawker & Tim Herbert
  3. Married in Mission: A Handbook for Couples in Cross-Cultural Service by Alexis C. Kenny

 

Mihai Lundell is a member of the board of Member Care Europe and a mission worker providing member care in Italy with OCI.

Contributions to mission worker resilience during Covid-19

As we are now well over a year into Covid-19 and for some of us the disruption and turmoil seem no closer to ending, I’d like to share some observations on our joint experience.

It seems to me (to make a subjective observation that is not robust or scientifically-based) that mission workers have, on the whole, coped with the challenges of the last 15 months with less obvious trauma than the average Christian, despite the difficulties of often being away from home for extended periods, not being in the same country as their children, or grappling with the fact that our comparative wealth gives us more options than the local people we work with.

If we have fared better throughout this crisis, what are some of the reasons?

Mission workers are already accustomed to change and turmoil.  Many of us will previously have had to move country rapidly for security or visa reasons; some of us live with an evacuation bag already packed.  We’re used to not seeing loved ones in person sometimes for years at a time.  And some of the challenges faced by the rest of the population, like home schooling or working from home, may be things we are doing already.

We have a sense of vocation which pulls us through difficult times.  Our activities may have been disrupted but we still have a sense of calling to a particular place, people group or activity which provides us with a sense of purpose and direction in difficult times.

We expect life to bring challenges.  Whether we were trained to expect difficulties, or have simply got used to dealing with them along the way, we have a theology of suffering.  We have experienced the doors closed to mission and know first-hand the risks of international mission.  So when we encounter another major challenge, it’s more like a huge pothole than the road ahead being completely destroyed.

We have good support mechanisms.  Most Christians do not have their own support groups, churches praying for them regularly, or prayer groups.  Most people don’t circulate a monthly prayer letter.  They don’t have a member care department checking in with them regularly.  We are blessed to have so many people actively praying for, supporting and encouraging each of us.

We have constructive working relationships (most of the time!)  Part of our role in being a ‘professional’ Christian is that we pray with our co-workers, expect discussion of our spiritual life to be normal, and regularly study the Bible or discuss theology as part of our work or fellowship.  This means we are constantly engaging with God, or with others about God, in our daily lives.  Our leadership is expected to take an interest in our spiritual wellbeing and may even be proactive in supporting us or holding us accountable.

It’s easy for us to forget that most Christians live and work in a largely secular context devoid of the sort of support and encouragement that we receive.  So how do we, who continue to receive so much in the midst of the current difficulties, help the rest of the church benefit from the structures, supports and relationships that are so important for helping us thrive through the adversities we experience?

It would be helpful to have feedback from our readers who are mission workers, to know what has worked to help you during Covid-19, or what help you would have liked but didn’t receive.  Email us on webmaster@membercare.eu or engage with us through social media links.

 

Tim Herbert is the founder of Syzygy Missions Support Network and provides practical and pastoral support to mission workers.  This blog originally appeared on the Syzygy website as part of a series on issues thrown up by Covid-19 and is reproduced here with permission.

 

Re-entry in Covid time

Chaos in my head.  Chaos in my life.  Chaos in my family.  What to do?  I am in transition!

Due to the COVID crisis, me and my family needed to return to our home country earlier than planned.  But what is my home country?  

There are many questions in my head? Sometimes I am sure about a lot of things and know this is the right step to go forward, but other times nothing feels sure, I only feel left with sorrows and lots of questions.

I couldn’t say a proper goodbye to the people I loved and served for many years, due to the fact that we needed to leave suddenly.

We don’t have a house yet where we can stay for longer period of time, thus we can’t make it a home yet. Our personal things are still unpacked.

What about a job?

What about schooling for our children, and will they ever make friends again? Due to the lockdown, it is hard to meet new people anyway, to go to church or to settle in and even to catch up with old friends and family.

We are still on our own ‘island’, sometimes that feels at home, cozy and it gives us a lot of peace and rest, nobody is asking us to give any presentations of our work overseas, we are still in our own bubble and enjoying it! But other times we know we have to pick up life again to adjust to our home country or can I better say to a new country after many years away? There are a lot of mixed feelings and doubts.

Even the question was raised: ‘Where is God in the midst of it?’ Sometimes I just don’t know where He is? How can this happen so suddenly anyway? Yes, we had planned to return, but not in this way. We wanted to prepare our goodbyes properly and we wanted to plan our return very well, but nothing has happened as we had hoped and planned.

These are just some of the feelings of missionaries that I often hear, as they are in the midst of a re-entry.  Re-entry is a chaotic period in life of missionaries, but it makes it even more chaotic because of the COVID crisis.

While I was writing this, I was thinking of the story of Daniel and his friends in the Bible while they were in exile.  They were completely uprooted, snatched away from everything they knew.  They didn’t have a home anymore.  They had been taken away from everything they knew to a complete strange Babylonian Empire, now called Iraq.  A new culture, new surroundings, new gods, new people, everything they knew was gone.  Even their names were changed, they got new names related to new gods, which they didn’t know.  Where is the God of Israel?

They were displaced.  Their lives were shaken because all familiarity was thrown away.  A comparison can be made with lots of missionaries today when they return from the field so suddenly.  Questions are raised: Where is God?  What about our ministry?  We had a strong vision, but now it is gone?

Transition in COVID time makes it even more difficult because you cannot connect to people in your new neighborhood, you don’t know how to find a job and how to connect to your church or join a new church.

Back to Daniel.  If we read through Daniel, we see that in the midst of the chaos, God is with Daniel and his friends.  He is not alone.  God gave people on his path; you can read this in Daniel 1 verse 9: ‘now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel’.  This is very special to read, because God gave a person to Daniel who was not a believer, but he showed compassion to Daniel.  Do we see the people who God gives to us on our path?  Do we look for them?  God gave Daniel and his friends also a mission in Daniel 1 verse 17: ‘To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning.  And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.’

When I came back from the mission field to the Netherlands many years ago, I thought I did not have a mission anymore, it is all over and it is all gone.  The story of Daniel encouraged me a lot that my mission is not related to a special place, but it is related to wherever I go.  God is with me and I can still serve Him.  Wherever you are, sitting on your old-fashioned sofa in your temporary house, your mission isn’t gone.  Yes, your mission has to adjust to a different place and to different surroundings with different people, but it is still your mission.  God is still there, as he was with Daniel and his friends, He is also there with you and your family.

Re-entry means you are in transition, you are uprooted, all that is familiar and what you found so normal is no longer there.  You thought you knew everything.  You thought you still knew everything in your own home country, but had to discover it is not there anymore.  You thought you knew God.  You thought you had a mission, now it seems it is all gone.  God shows us through the story of Daniel that it is not about God being yours, but that is about you being His child.  God says: ‘You are mine!’  He is faithful.  He is there and you can still follow His mission wherever you are. He will be with you.

It is very normal that re-entry brings many mixed feelings.  Re-entry is a process of chaos in your head, a process of adjusting, and that is not always easy.  We often want to do it quickly, because we want to move on.  However, it is important to spend time dealing with your re-entry process.  If you’ve been away for 5 years, the figurative distance is actually 10 years. You went one way for 5 years, but people in your home country went the other way for 5 years.  It is very normal to experience chaos in your life!  It is very normal that it seems you are living in a blur.  It is very normal that you are feeling you live in two worlds.  We didn’t even talk about the effects of social media, that turns the world into one big village.  Some people might not even know where they are physically.

Take your time for this re-entry process.  Allow yourself this time!  Talk about it with people who understand or with people who have gone through these kinds of experiences themselves.  Re-entry is a huge change; it is saying goodbye to things and people you have lived with for many years.  Re-entry is a process of starting over.  Re-entry is also a grieving process and that takes time.  Take your time and don’t feel guilty about it.  That’s the beautiful thing of the COVID crisis, due to the quarantine and the lock-down you are forced or maybe better, you are allowed to get some more time to adjust to your home (new) country.  Make use of that time!

 

Margriet Muurling is the initiator of InToMission, an organization that provides professional member care, coaching and debriefing for missionaries.  Find out more about InToMission on their website or email info@intomission.nl  

This article is published with permission.

 

Useful tools for listening

Recently on social media, one of my friends wrote, “when it comes time to set the clocks back one hour for daylight savings time, we should all refuse. No one needs one more hour of 2020.”  As I chuckled, I was reminded of the countless people I have debriefed over the last several months who have all said, “I just want this year to be over!”

My wife and I live in Genova, Italy, and have watched our country be overwhelmed by the Corona Virus pandemic. Then came one of the strictest lockdowns in the world that lasted nearly three months. One of the images that many of us in Italy will never forget was watching the convoy of military vehicles in cities like Milano and Roma escort hundreds of caskets of Corona victims to various cathedrals because there was no more room in hospitals.

During those difficult days, my role as a Member Care provider (in quarantine) was to listen and comfort my friends and ministry partners, many of them on the frontlines of the pandemic. One of my friends, a nurse, works in the leading hospital of our region caring for Covid19 patients. He told me repeatedly, “I felt like I had to play God, literally deciding who will and will not receive treatment.” Others had not been home for over two months, even though the hospital is five minutes from their home, out of fear of exposing their families to the virus. All of my friends had at least two things in common: they were exhausted and longing to share their stories.

One of the blessings to come out of this global pandemic for Italians has been the emphasis the government and medical officials have placed on mental health. Rather than seeing debriefing or counseling as something shameful or a sign that something is “wrong,” Italian officials have actively promoted and highlighted the need for people to talk with others about their experiences under Covid-19 and the effects of the virus and lockdown on their mental health. As a result, the Italian government will now pay for mental health sessions, like counseling. And trust me, Italians have been taking advantage and are longing to tell their stories.

In July, I restarted devoting at least one weekend a month to traveling to the central train station of Milano to conduct debriefs with Italian Christians who arrive from all over Italy because they need to share their stories.

My role has been to listen. So often we forget that one of the most important aspects of good Member Care is just being present and allowing those we care for a chance to talk and be heard!

During these times of listening, I have discovered several useful tools:

Prayers of Lament: people are experiencing various forms of loss and grief during these times. Perhaps we have often seen lamenting as being somewhat “overdramatic,” but there is certainly a Biblical premise for crying out to the Lord in the midst of our struggles with raw emotion. While sitting in a prayer meeting with intercultural-workers from around the world, a couple from Canada said how they just loved being in quarantine and how ministry is going great because of the potential to reach more people through online services. This led other missionaries to cry out, “I’m tired of trying to put on a fake smile and pretend that everything is great! Why can’t we just be honest! Nobody likes this! It’s not fun and it’s not all roses!” Again, true, raw emotion!

A local pastor in our now online church service shared these words from Psalm 44:

Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever. Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression? We are brought down to the dust; our bodies cling to the ground. Rise up and help us; rescue us because of your unfailing love.

What powerful and timely words for the current world situation! It is important as Member Care providers that we allow people a chance to cry out, lament, and acknowledge their grief and name their losses.  Prayers of lament in a time of suffering can be an act of worship.

Prayers of Intercession: as Christians we often say things like “I will pray for you” and then simply forget. As I have cared for friends, I spend time in prayer with them specifically asking God to bless them, meet needs, or simply minister in unique ways to each one of them, according to God’s will.

Like many of you, I have at times felt inadequate or even hopeless, confined to my home in quarantine. Yet, I have been reminded that most of the Apostle Paul’s ministry was conducted from the confines of a jail cell. What was arguably the essence of Paul’s ministry? Intercessory prayer for the early Church and the Apostles.

Let’s not forget the power of prayer during this time. Here in Italy we have seen pastors coming together online to pray for our nation and world. Moreover, hundreds of European youth from all over the continent have met online each month in intercessory prayer during this pandemic. God is working!

Sound of Silence: sometimes words fail us, as has been the case in many of my interactions recently while caring for friends. The seconds turn into minutes with no one saying a word, but there is power in remaining silent, taking deep breathes and allowing God to search the heart. Perhaps these difficult times are reminding us to stop and to wait upon the Lord.

The Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 8 that we often do not know what to pray for, but the Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans! Even just sitting and listening to nature during these times can minister to someone really struggling. Let’s not rush to fill the space with words, advice, or other things, but allow silence to speak.

Much of the world continues to suffer not only physically, but especially mentally and financially. As we continue to hold our breathe and hope that 2021 will bring brighter days and an end to the pandemic, may the words of Psalm 126:5 be ever true in this time of waiting: “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.”

 

Mihai at Milan central station

Mihai Lundell

One Challenge International

Member Care Europe

Talking to TCKs about Covid-19

Earlier this month Gabriele Hölzle of OM People Care (who was due to be one of the speakers at EMCC 2020) wrote an article for her team about how she had listened to TCKs about their experience of Covid-19).  We thought you’d like to read it (shared with permission).  Just click here.

“So, after all that, peace was only this!”

This disillusioned quote is from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955). He was a French Jesuit priest, researcher, palaeontologist, theologian and philosopher.

When the lockdown in France was announced on March 16th, the French president declared we were at war, a difficult war against a brutal virus. Soon will come, for many of us here in Europe, the day after. What new opportunities for change will it bring? How will we manage them?

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin’s Covid was the First World War, during which he was confined for five years to the boredom and brutality of the trenches, working as a stretcher-bearer carrying injured soldiers from the battlefield.

When peace returned, he was horribly disappointed to find a world that had not changed. Then he realized that he had glimpsed, while confined in the trenches, the better world that he dreamed of, and that this fleeting vision was enough to mobilize his personal commitment and show him his way in this world.

Here is the full quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, written in 1919 just after the end of the war:

So, after all that, peace was only this! The peace which, during these long years of suffering, shone incessantly ahead of us, like a mirage… The peace that gave us the courage to hold on and resist because we thought we were fighting for a better world… But what this peace had in store for us was only this!

The war stripped away our surface banalities and conventions, opening a window onto deeper human needs and functioning. But now that peace has returned, so has all the old pettiness and monotony of our pre-war existence. Although moved, elevated and united for a time in our common posture of defence, people returned to their self-centred obsessions and preoccupations as soon as the grip of danger was gone.

Surrounded by the banalities of existence that have regained their dullness, with the contradictions of a society that has returned to its moral poverty and scattered individualism, I will patiently resume my usual occupations, illuminated by what I saw during those brief moments in the trenches when, for a great cause, millions of us were united together in the fight for the preservation of life.

But life is still beautiful! For I have glimpsed, from the top of the mountain, the Promised Land!”

If this global crisis can serve as a wake-up call to many things, including the profound changes that our societies must implement in their models of economic development and the way we must go about our daily lives on this fragile planet, it is important that our collective responsibility not detract from our personal need for change. In the aftermath of this crisis, it would be sad if our “self-centred obsessions and preoccupations” resumed as before.

Once we have been released from our present confinement, how will things be different in our spiritual, emotional and relational life? In the management of our work/rest rhythms? In how we consume, travel, slow down, study, help and think?

And how will things be different for those of us in Member Care?

For many of us during this time, the words of Psalm 46:10-11 have taken on special significance:

Be still, and know that I am God!

I will be honoured by every nation.

I will be honoured throughout the world.

The Lord of Heaven’s armies is here among us;

The God of Israel is our fortress.

Before we rush headlong into our new-found freedom, let’s keep sight of what this psalm invites us to do:

to be still, enough to pause and reflect;

to know, through all the turbulence, that He is God and worthy to be honoured;

to remember: He is here and He is present;

to rest assured: He is our fortress, and we are therefore secure.

 

The following questions may help us as we reflect:

  • What have I discovered about myself in this time of confinement?
  • What have I discovered about God?
  • What strategies have I acquired? What new strengths have I gained?
  • What limitations have I learned to manage?
  • What discoveries might I share with others?

Lord Jesus, we have not only “glimpsed, from the top of the mountain, the Promised Land”; you are our Promised Land. We know you and you know us. You are the way toward our dreams and desires for growth and change. May the communion of love that you invite us to enjoy with you allow your will to have full access to all areas of our lives. And may our lives, by your grace and your strength working in us, reflect more than ever your beauty, your consistency, your simplicity, your generosity and your joy. Amen.

 

[This month’s post is by Jonathan Ward of Pierres Vivantes, our board member representing France and other Francophone regions in Europe.]